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Overhear
somthing?
You
tell us and we’ll
tell London! |
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Working with teens
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Working in schools means I get to here some truly classic lines:
staff: "...so they're putting two and two together and getting six"
student: "*thinks*...........Na, its 4" |
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Overheard by tyr_arcana, School
posted Wednesday, 18th January 2006 |
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In Haymarket? Surely not!
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Guy #1: "There's gays everywhere!"
Guy #2: "It's the gay mafia." |
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Overheard by susan, haymarket
posted Tuesday, 17th January 2006 |
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I'm NOT your brother.
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I was on the Northern Line of the tube one evening about 6 o'clock, when a drunk Rastafarian gets on at Stockwell. Starts shouting at everyone that their all a bunch a bas**rds and he hates us. Eventually his eyes settle on a young, well-dressed black man reading a newspaper.
Rastafarian: "All right their brother"?
Young, well dressed black man: "F*ck off" (said in a perfect high class ultra snotty accent).
Cue much sniggering and chuckling. Rastafarian gets off at Clapham Common. |
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Overheard by DaBuk, On the Northern Line
posted Friday, 13th January 2006 |
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Set for tonight mate
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Overheard outside victoria coach station...
"Nah, I'm set for tonight mate, i'm taping big brother and all the girls are getting their tits out." |
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Overheard by Elk, victoria coach station
posted Friday, 13th January 2006 |
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Riding Michael Jackson
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Little to girl to mother: "Mammy, is Michael Jackon a rocking horse"?
Mother: "No, why do you ask that"? To which she replied,
Little girl: "I heard girls from my school say, if he goes to jail, they should melt him down and turn him into a rocking horse so the kids get their turn to ride him!! |
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Overheard by G, Burger King
posted Thursday, 12th January 2006 |
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American college kids, in a league of their own
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A bunch of obnoxious American college kids on the train last night:
OACK #1: "Hey, remember the time in Amsterdam when we had to use that ATM that wasn't in English?"
OACK #2: "Yeah, I did the whole thing in Danish!"
OACK #3: "It was Dutch, you dumbass. Danish is a food."
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Overheard by Vincenzo, Waterloo Station
posted Thursday, 12th January 2006 |
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Oh how nice!
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In the ticket line at the National Gallery today. Two elderly British ladies, poring over an art guidebook, deciding on which exhibits to visit.
Elderly British Lady No. 1: "Oh, I've seen that picture before; someone sent a photo of it to me."
EBL No. 2: "Oh, that's nice."
EBL No. 1: "I hung it in the loo."
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Overheard by Baz, National Gallery
posted Wednesday, 11th January 2006 |
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The gift that keeps on giving
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Picture the scene: Oxford Street - busy as only Oxford Street can be in the run-up to Christmas (i.e. hellish). A respectable-looking, middle-aged man takes solace from the crowds against a shopfront in order to take a call on his mobile phone. As I walk past I hear...
"Yes, yes. I've bought you a really good present. Yeah, you'll love it, it's great, it's definitely worth anal this time."
Sadly I didn't get a chance to look in his bags to see the present *so wonderful* it guaranteed the gift of anal sex. Such is life. Made me feel all warm and festive though. |
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Overheard by treehavn, Oxford Street
posted Tuesday, 10th January 2006 |
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Im suprised he said tikes
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Heard at Farrington station. For maximum benefit try thinking it (or reading out loud if you want) in the voice of an old Cockney geezer.
"Ladies and gentleman, I'm sorry to say that the train on the platform is not for public use. It's been vandalised. London Underground would like to apologise for the delay to your journey, and I'd like to apologise for not being fast enough to catch the little tikes." |
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Overheard by Iain, Farrington station
posted Monday, 02nd January 2006 |
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Bah, Humbug
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Overheard in a school I was working at:
Boy 1: *singing tunelessly* "Jacob Marley, Jacob Marley" over and over again
Boy 2: Didn't he die?
Boy 1: Who?
Boy 2: Y'know, that singer you like, Jacob Marley.
Boy 1: *looks confused* No you fool, that's BOB Marley! |
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Overheard by The Electric God of Technology, in a school I was working at
posted Saturday, 31st December 2005 |
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